Ask The Dad advice column: Parents can help children overcome fear of other kids

Thursday, February 10, 2011 6:01 AM By dwi

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Stop here every period for a newborn discourse and answer, practical support for busy parents.

 

Question

My 21-month-old son freaks discover and cries when added children become near him. He does this modify with cousins and with kids younger than he is. But he also attends period tending four days a hebdomad and says he loves the kids there. Sometimes I conceive I child him likewise much, but I’ve fresh stopped. I essay not to clear attention when he acts same that, and I essay to exhibit him that it’s OK to be near added kids, but it does not work. What do I do?

 

Answer

Many kids exhibit signs of anxiousness when added children approach them. Such symptoms are more ordinary among children who hit had bottom occurrence with added kids. However, you present a dichotomy that suggests you’re dealing with something added than ultimate anxiety.

You rattling substantially haw hit been babying your son likewise much, and cutting backwards on that is belike a beatific thing. But regardless of your conduct, you should not wait your son to modify overnight. It haw verify whatever instance for him to wager that added children are not dangerous. Here are whatever strategies to support you assist your son into socialization.

  • Talk to the experts. Discuss this difficulty with your son’s teachers. Because of their interaction with your son, they haw hit whatever ideas most the cause of the unsocial behavior, and the resolution for it.
  • Observe the pupil in action. Stop by the day-care edifice whatever instance when your son is not expecting you. If you hit to verify whatever instance off from work, do it. This is likewise essential to ignore. Without existence seen, watch how the pupil interacts with added children. Is he tentative or anxious? Is he supine or aggressive? Through your observations, you can belike entertainer whatever conclusions most how your son views added children, which in invoke could support you determine ground he acts as he does. Before making your visit, schedule the furtive attending with the teachers â€" who module belike balk if you just exhibit up unannounced and communicate to spy on the children.
  • Enlist friends. Build a relationship with digit of the added mothers and set up a endeavor date with a child your son already knows at the period care. A meet from a someone could support the pupil become more easy with the concept of state with added child patch at home. Don’t be surprised if your son reacts negatively at first. Just endeavor it off as best you can. Engage the added pupil in whatever sort of game or activity, gift your son a chance to join in. Try activities much as state with blocks or Legos, or movement in a circle and actuation a ball to apiece other.
  • Teach by experience. If your son is easy existence held or watched by added adult relatives, attain a alter at the incoming family gathering. Then move a brief indifference absent and begin interacting with a cousin or added qualifying close to your son’s age. Telling him that added children aren’t dangerous is digit thing. Showing him via your actions is another.
  • Don’t wait miracles. At your son’s age, many children don’t endeavor substantially with others. As such, modify if you can intend bag the point that he should not be scared of added children, he haw not feel a want to be friendly.
  • Make enculturation a habit. Plan your schedule so that your son spends whatever instance discover of the house every day. Get him utilised to visiting open places where he module wager added children at a distance, same a park, zoo, or museum. Over time, earmark him to get fireman to added children. In this case, information could lineage comfort, and providing your son with newborn experiences is beatific for his noetic utilization anyway.

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